Is Your Workplace a "Family"? The Problem with Calling Colleagues Family in Academic Libraries and Higher Education

In many academic libraries and higher education institutions, colleagues are often referred to as “family” in an effort to foster a sense of belonging and support. On the surface, this language may seem well-intentioned, offering comfort in environments that value collaboration and community. However, framing the workplace as a family can have unintended negative consequences, particularly when it comes to trauma and the emotional impact it can have on employees.

The question is: does referring to colleagues as family truly promote a supportive and inclusive workplace, or does it risk reinforcing unhealthy dynamics and re-traumatizing individuals who may be carrying emotional burdens?

The Appeal of the "Family" Metaphor

In the context of academic libraries and higher education, the family metaphor is often used to describe:

• A Supportive Community: The idea of “family” suggests a group that provides unconditional support and care for its members.
• Close Bonds: The metaphor emphasizes the closeness and trust developed between colleagues working together in student-centered environments.
• A Sense of Belonging: Especially for faculty, librarians, and staff working in small departments, referring to the workplace as a family can create a sense of unity and shared purpose.

However, for some, the family metaphor can trigger painful associations, particularly for those who have experienced trauma in their personal lives, including toxic family dynamics, abuse, or neglect.

How Trauma Can Complicate the “Family” Narrative

For individuals who have experienced trauma, being part of a “family” may not conjure positive emotions. Instead, it may evoke feelings of obligation, guilt, or pressure—particularly when family dynamics have been unhealthy. In professional settings, using the family metaphor can lead to a number of problematic outcomes:

1. Re-Traumatization
   For individuals with past trauma, the expectation to view colleagues as family may mirror harmful dynamics they’ve experienced, such as emotional manipulation or a lack of boundaries. The workplace should be a space of professional safety and respect, but calling it a family can blur lines and trigger memories of past trauma, making employees feel vulnerable rather than supported.

2. Unhealthy Boundaries
   Family dynamics often involve flexible or nonexistent boundaries, which can be harmful in professional environments. Employees may feel pressured to go beyond their roles, take on emotional labor, or tolerate inappropriate behavior because “that’s what family does.” For those with trauma histories, unclear boundaries can be particularly distressing, making it harder for them to protect their emotional well-being.

3. Emotional Exhaustion and Burnout
   Family dynamics often involve an expectation of emotional caretaking. In academic libraries and higher education, staff already face high emotional demands from working with students, managing workloads, and supporting diverse populations. Adding familial emotional expectations on top of that can lead to burnout—especially for individuals dealing with trauma. They may feel compelled to meet emotional needs that go beyond their capacity, resulting in emotional exhaustion and disengagement from the workplace.

4. Pressure to Conform and Remain Silent
   In families, loyalty and unity are often emphasized over individual needs or dissent. In academic workplaces where the “family” label is used, there can be subtle pressure for employees to conform, avoid conflict, and suppress concerns about toxic behaviors. For trauma survivors, this pressure can feel all too familiar, reinforcing feelings of helplessness or a lack of control over their environment.

The Pitfalls of Calling Colleagues Family in the Context of Trauma

1. Not Everyone’s "Family" is a Safe Space
   The assumption that family is always a place of safety, love, and care ignores the reality that many people have experienced trauma within their own families. Expecting employees to adopt familial roles in a professional environment can re-traumatize individuals who may already struggle with boundaries, trust, and emotional security due to past experiences.

2. Disproportionate Emotional Labor
   Individuals from marginalized communities or those who have experienced trauma may feel an undue burden to contribute emotional labor in a workplace framed as a family. They may feel responsible for “holding the family together,” suppressing their own needs, or keeping peace at their own expense. This dynamic perpetuates emotional inequality in academic libraries and higher education.

3. Reinforcement of Hierarchical Dynamics
   In some workplaces, the family metaphor can reinforce hierarchical power dynamics, with leadership playing the role of “parent” figures and employees as “children.” For individuals who have experienced trauma related to authority figures or hierarchical relationships, this dynamic can be particularly harmful, making it difficult to speak up, set boundaries, or advocate for themselves without fear of rejection or punishment.

Building Professional, Inclusive Environments: Moving Beyond the "Family" Metaphor

Rather than relying on the “family” metaphor, academic libraries and higher education institutions should focus on fostering professional relationships built on respect, support, and boundaries that protect everyone’s emotional well-being. Here are some ways to create inclusive environments that are truly supportive of all employees, including those who may have experienced trauma:

1. Create Trauma-Informed Workspaces

Being trauma-informed means recognizing that past experiences, including trauma, can affect how individuals interact with their environment and colleagues. Libraries and academic departments should adopt trauma-informed practices, which include:

• Understanding the impact of trauma on individuals’ behavior, boundaries, and communication.
• Promoting safety by ensuring that the workplace is a space where all employees feel secure and respected.
• Offering emotional support through employee wellness programs, mental health resources, and clear boundaries that prevent burnout.

2. Respect Professional Boundaries

In professional environments, clear and healthy boundaries are critical. Leaders and colleagues should ensure that everyone understands the limits of their roles and the importance of maintaining personal and emotional boundaries at work. Respecting boundaries not only protects employees from burnout but also fosters a culture of trust and mutual respect.

3. Foster a Culture of Support, Not Obligation

Support in the workplace should never be based on familial obligations. Instead, academic libraries and higher education institutions can focus on creating mutual support networks that emphasize professionalism, collaboration, and empathy—without the emotional baggage that often comes with the family metaphor.

4. Value Emotional Safety

Creating a psychologically safe workplace is essential for all employees, especially those who have experienced trauma. Ensuring that individuals feel safe to express concerns, give feedback, or set boundaries without fear of repercussion is key to building an emotionally supportive and inclusive environment.

5. Recognize the Importance of Flexibility and Empathy

In workplaces that employ trauma-informed practices, flexibility and empathy are vital. Employees may need flexibility in their roles to navigate personal challenges or emotional stressors. Libraries can promote an empathetic culture that supports employees through challenges without the added expectation of familial closeness.

Creating Truly Inclusive and Supportive Academic Workplaces

In conclusion, calling colleagues “family” can blur the lines between professional support and personal obligation, often creating toxic dynamics that are particularly harmful for those who have experienced trauma. Instead, academic libraries and higher education institutions should focus on creating professional, inclusive environments where support, respect, and emotional safety are prioritized over familial metaphors.

By embracing trauma-informed practices, maintaining healthy boundaries, and fostering genuine connections, libraries can build a healthier and more productive work environment—one where all employees feel valued and supported, without the complications that come with calling the workplace a family.

Contact Us
At Inclusive Knowledge Solutions, we help academic libraries and higher education institutions develop inclusive work environments. Contact us to learn how we can support your organization in creating healthier workplace cultures that respect boundaries and promote emotional well-being.