“Sorry” Is Never Enough: Leading With Equity When Advocacy Is Ignored

There’s a unique frustration many academic library leaders know too well: you advocate for your department—student workers, temporary staff, frontline librarians—and the reply you get from senior leadership is a flat, dismissive, “Sorry to hear that.”

No solution.
No next steps.
No recognition of the urgency or weight of what you’ve just shared.

In that moment, a truth crystallizes: apologies are easy. Solutions are not.
And in academic libraries—where we’re often expected to do more with less, serve increasingly diverse student bodies with fewer resources, and stretch our teams thin across multiple priorities—“Sorry” is never enough.

The Hidden Cost of Dismissal

Apologies without action don’t just miss the mark. They reinforce the inequities we’re working against.

When you advocate for your department, especially on behalf of marginalized students or overworked staff, and leadership dismisses it with a vague response, the message underneath is clear: this is not important to us. That silence can ripple through the team, undermining morale and trust.

As a white male library director at a student-centered, diverse institution, I recognize the privilege I hold in being able to speak up without fear of retribution. I also recognize the responsibility that comes with it. When I advocate, I do so not just to secure a line item—but to stand with colleagues and students whose voices are too often unheard or unsupported.

Equity Requires More Than Empathy

Equity isn’t expressed through empty empathy. It’s built through accountability, follow-through, and shared responsibility. Leaders can’t claim a commitment to diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility (DEIA) while leaving frontline workers unsupported.

If we truly want inclusive institutions, support must be structural—not just emotional. That means budgets, staffing, tools, and policies that reflect stated values.

I’ve learned that leading in this space—especially when your advocacy is met with inaction—requires deep internal work and external courage. This is where I turn to the CALM framework: Communication, Adaptability, Learning, and Management.

Using CALM When Support Is Absent

• Communication: Stay clear, persistent, and people-focused. Share stories alongside stats. Name the harm and the potential.

• Adaptability: Reimagine how work gets done while protecting your team’s well-being. Don’t normalize overwork—design around it.

• Learning: Observe patterns. Who gets heard? Who gets overlooked? Learn so you can teach others, especially your peers.

• Management: Keep showing up for your team. Be transparent about what you can and can’t do—but never stop advocating for what they need.

Leadership under pressure requires composure and creativity. But it also requires clarity: knowing that you may be the only one in the room naming what others are afraid to say.

Ruha Benjamin’s Wisdom: “Small Steps Are Still Steps”

Ruha Benjamin reminds us that change doesn't always come in bold, sweeping moves. Sometimes it arrives in the form of a meeting where you push back on unreasonable expectations. Or an email where you advocate for paid training for your student workers. Or a moment where you name the racial or labor inequities that others would rather avoid.

These moments are small. But small steps are still steps.

And when your advocacy doesn’t lead to immediate change, that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter. It does. You’ve planted something. You’ve modeled the kind of leadership your team deserves.

Final Thought: A Real Apology Includes a Path Forward

If you’re in leadership and someone comes to you with a need, a concern, a plea—don’t offer “sorry” without solutions. Instead, offer partnership. Offer planning. Offer a timeline. Offer to share the weight.

If you’re the one who got the dismissive reply: don’t internalize it. Don’t let it define your worth.
Keep advocating. Keep protecting. Keep moving.

Because as leaders in academic libraries, we don’t just manage operations—we manage hope. And that means showing up, even when support is absent.